Monday, June 29, 2009

Am I Experiencing Premonitions? (A strange and morbid tale in two and one-tenth parts)

I consider myself to be like everyone else when it comes to deja vu -- I experience it sometimes, and when I do, I find it strange and fascinating. But then I disregard the experience.

There are times, though, when I have an experience that seems meaningless when I first experience it -- but which strikes me (abstractly) nonetheless, and for no identifiable reason -- that actually turns out, in retrospect, to have possibly been some sort of bizarre and indecipherable omen. Am I alone in having these experiences? (Ed. note: I basically guarantee that no one will respond).

For example. I have to take the highway for about thirty miles to get to work. It is not, for the most part, a very big highway -- two or three lanes running in each direction, with farms, cornfields, trees, and telephone poles lining each side. Two or three weeks ago, as I was driving to work in the late afternoon, traffic came to a complete stop for about twenty minutes. Drivers were getting out of their cars and walking ahead, some with cameras, in order to figure out what was going on. As we finally started moving again I came upon, about a mile or two ahead of where my car had idled, the reason for the stoppage. A long, brown car with sharp, rectangular features had driven straight into one of the telephone poles that lined the side of the road. The front end of the car was wrapped in the shape of a V around the pole, which didn't appear to have given an inch. The windshield was shattered -- gone. And the front half of the car was black and looked charred. There did not appear to be anyone in the car and, strangely, I did not see any emergency vehicles; perhaps they had just left. Someone had set orange cones on the shoulder of the road in the area around the car. As I drove past and took in the carnage, I thought to myself that the driver must have died. I was of course affected by the scene, but I more or less dismissed it as a horrible and unfortunate accident and drove on.

Approximately thirty minutes later, I had exited the highway and was waiting relatively far back in line at a traffic light. When the light would change from red to green, however, I would move forward only a few car lengths; I would then have to wait for the next cycle. As I slowly approached the intersection I saw that the police were directing traffic and that I would not be able to cross the intersection; I would have to turn into the parking lot on my left, make a right out of the parking lot in order to gain access to the cross-street, and finally turn left onto the road that had been my original planned route. As I was performing these maneuvers I saw that there had been another accident -- this one not nearly as bad as the one I had seen thirty minutes before on the highway. It appeared that a dark-colored luxury car had collided with an ice cream truck, of all things, and that debris had been strewn across the intersection, therefore making the intersection uncrossable from that one specific entryway. Again I drove on -- this time more annoyed than anything, as it seemed impossible that there would have been any fatalities or even any serious injuries as a result of the accident.

At this point I thought it strange that I had seen two vehicular accidents in one day. I commented on the strangeness of the coincidence to both my boss and my father. I had hoped to tell my good friend X, with whom I usually worked, but he had taken the day off in order to drive to Tennessee for a musical festival.

Some hours later, as I drove home from work along the same highway -- albeit in the opposite direction -- I cruised along the road without much interruption. As I was moving along, however, I saw on the side of the road a blue-looking car in the grass and under the shade of some big trees along the side of the highway. The car had flipped over -- it was upside-down, and what was intended to be the top of the car had been crushed under the weight of the heavy engine, the tires, the axles, and the steel. Again I saw no emergency vehicles or personnel, and again I felt that the driver must have died. I immediately called my father to tell him that I had now seen a third accident on the day; he told me half-joking that the accidents may have been omens intended to warn me to slow down. We both laughed uneasily and then ended our conversation.

Four days later I received a phone call that X -- the friend with whom I worked -- had been involved in a terrible car crash in which his car had hydroplaned coming out of a tunnel and ultimately wrapped itself around a large tree along the side of the road. X suffered a compound fracture in his arm -- the jagged edge of his broken bone had cut through the skin -- and a concussion. The doctor more or less told him that he had been lucky to have survived the accident. In retrospect I find myself connecting the three accidents I had seen five days previous to X's accident and, of course, X's accident.

An unrelated and much less devastating incident occurred maybe two weeks after X's accident. I was again at work -- X is currently able to work -- on the phone with another friend. It is imperative that I relate to you certain specific bits of verifiable data in this anecdote that will seem at first to be irrelevant but that will emerge as being of the utmost importance. I hereby acknowledge the stupidity of this anecdote, but I feel that I must tell it to you.

At precisely 4:21 p.m. on this day, I placed a phone call to my friend Z. Z let the phone ring for maybe ten seconds before answering. Z and I spoke for exactly four minutes and two seconds. At the end of the conversation, Z said: "Goodbye, Jackson," as we often joke with each other like this. I responded by calling Z the first name that came to mind, which was, of course, Michael. And then we hung up at a point in time that could only have been, based on the verifiable data I have presented, 4:25 p.m. or 4:26 p.m. This conversation, of course, took place on the day that the internationally famous Michael Jackson was pronounced dead at precisely 4:26 p.m. Central Standard Time, which was, of course, about the same time that our conversation ended. A stupid anecdote, I know. I told you that. But mildly curious.

Other strange things: Highway lights seem to either burn out or, alternatively, turn on when I pass underneath them; Z actually told me once that there is some strange religion (or, perhaps, cult) that believes that the energy or aura of a person will affect lights in these ways. During the first week I spent in college, in town K, town K was the hottest town in the country, with a recorded temperature of 115 degrees Fahrenheit. During the first week I spent in graduate school in town S, town S was besieged by a massive flood that knocked out most of the roads leading into and out of the town. Aged nineteen, I flew to state F in order to visit an old family member. After landing I discovered by listening to the radio that the town that was my final destination had been the home of someone who had contributed to the writing of, and who had been a member of the band that had become famous for, the song that was and is unquestionably my favorite song; I have an almost spiritual connection to the song. This musician had of course died in the town I was visiting for the weekend at about the same time I had landed in the town. I am fairly certain that I have been physically touched by a spirit; this same spirit has visited X in a dream and communicated things that X could not have known of and that had no relevance to him whatsoever.

And now to my present situation. Approximately four months ago I began taking a different sleeping medication than I had been taking for the two or three years previous, as I am an insomniac. The new medication has been working and has even allowed me to experience dreaming -- something that my previous medication had eliminated. I have noted several times during these past months during which I have been taking this new medication that the dreams that I am now able to have while I am sleeping are oddly poignant, vivid, and oftentimes bizarre.

Two or three nights ago I dreamed that I was in an area of Minnesota that housed a significant number of large hotels. I am fairly certain that I was out-of-doors for the entirety of the dream, although I do have a vague recollection of a great number of people panicking and running through a hallway toward an exit, trying to find a way out of one of the hotels after a large explosion had shaken the building. Later on in the dream I remember watching at least four or five large airplanes striking these hotels and destroying them; I was fully aware in the dream that I was experiencing the sequel to 9/11.

I bring it up because I have a flight booked that is destined for Minneapolis in three or four weeks. Could the dream have been a premonition? Even if it was, it doesn't really matter, because I do not believe that I am very afraid of dying. This life is not so thrilling, anyway.

We will all find out in three to four weeks.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Guilty Pleasure

This is the dumbest thing. I don't even really like Michael Jackson, although you've got to admit that The Jackson 5 kicks ass. Anyway, here is a song that I've always thought was very good.

Guilty pleasure.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Because I am twelve years old,

because I possibly live in some sort of emotionally retarded fantasy land, and because I spend each of my nights watching the White Sox in lieu of, say, having a girlfriend or contributing to mankind in any way, I have realigned entirely Major League Baseball. You can see my electric mind at work below. I spent the first five or so innings of tonight's Sox game working on this. Yes, I am an actual person.

There are six divisions. Each division now contains six teams. This means that there are six new teams.


Northeast Division
New York Mets
New York Yankees

Midwest Division
Chicago Cubs
Chicago White Sox
Kansas City
St. Louis

Northwest Division
San Francisco


Southeast Division
New Orleans
Tampa Bay

Eastern Midwest Division

Southwest Division
L.A. Angels
L.A. Dodgers
San Diego


Sunday, June 7, 2009

I can't help it if I'm lucky.

Bob Dylan performing "Idiot Wind"

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

New Word: Nafsty

Nafsty: exceedingly nasty.